LAURA CARTLEDGE: We’re all winners in a bake-off sweepcake

JUST like Arnie, the football season is back.

There are a few parallels I could draw between the former governor cyborg actor and the ‘beautiful game’.

Such as the fact it is big, loud and in certain lights not attractive – in my personal opinion.

It is also not known for making a quiet entrance.

Now I’ll be honest, I didn’t miss the matches. With a new house to sort, and all the fun that goes with that, we’ve been a bit busy.

So I was a little surprised just how excited I was when taking my seat at Fratton Park on Saturday.

If I were being cynical I could say it might have had something to do with the fact I spent the morning carrying loft insulation down to the garage.

A boiler suit, mask and goggles is one sure way to make you ‘embrace’ the warm weather.

I, quite literally, wrung everything out of it.

But that’s all a bit harsh.

In truth I was swept up in the excitement and anticipation that filled the air – and swept along with the sea of blue fans on, what felt like, a religious procession.

There is just something about it.

I’m quite a simple soul, truth be told, and one of my favourite pleasures is when you first walk up the stairs in a stadium and see the pitch spread out before you.

So I suppose I am there for the theatre, the sense of unity and that spontaenous force which lifts you from your seat when the ball goes in the right net goal.

As much as I have resisted, some of the sport talk has snuck in to my grey matter however.

I found myself likening Pompey’s new ‘tappy-tappy’ technique to that favoured by Brendan Rogers.

It was a tough call to tell who was more surprised by the comment – me or my partner.

In similarly unlikely news, I am also the only person who could be right in our Ashes sweepstake.

I predicted it would end 3-2 to England, but said we’d win the fifth test. So it seems I’ll have to be wrong to be right!

Much simplier is the sweepcake we’ve got going on.

As the name suggests, it is quite a ‘sweet’ deal and all thanks to Bake Off.

Proof I haven’t completely abandoned my first love – food – for my football fling is shown by my whereabouts last night.

Even a £10 ticket to the capital one cup game against Derby wouldn’t make me leave my beloved Berry. Mary Berry.

Wednesday is strictly cake night. Having said that, I, somewhat ironically, will be missing next week’s episode to go to the real-life cake club I help run.

What a sacrifice, hey?

Anyway, back to the sweepcake, it is one Marie Antoinette might have been proud of.

We all have bakers, picked out of a box before the series started, and if yours goes out you have to bring in baked goods to the office.

There’s ten weeks of it and 12 contestants.

Which makes me wonder if I might have to take up a sport to counteract the impact...