STUART McGINLEY: Uncomfortable end to lovely Cornwall trip

I had a lovely holiday in Cornwall last week and was feeling a little smug as we sped past all the queuing cars going in the opposite direction at various stages of our long journey back to West Sussex, but of course this was never going to last!

Just 10 miles from home we hit a massive queue on the M27 near Portsmouth and it became clear that it was going to take us a while to navigate our way through during the Friday rush-hour.

Getting stuck in traffic is always frustrating, but slowly and steadily this became increasingly uncomfortable as my bladder (which is always unpredictable at the best of times) started to remind me we hadn’t stopped off for at least a couple of hours…

It’ll be okay I kept telling myself, but as we approached an hour of sitting in the queue of traffic, I started to feel a little sweaty and kept trying to move around in the seat to relieve the increasingly uncomfortable feeling but this didn’t really help.

Then I start to panic a bit thinking what am I going to do? There was no sign of any bushes or exit by this section of motorway and nowhere to hide so then I started to look around inside the car and my eyes were drawn to the empty coffee cup sitting next to me, yes you can guess what happened next…

So with the help of my passenger who tried to provide some shielding and at a point where the traffic had stopped completely (and with no coaches alongside), I duly did the deed and boy did it feel good!

Slightly further along the carriageway, we noticed someone had stopped their car in the inside lane to make a dash in to a small group of bushes in the central reservation, but alas this was still in full view of cars crawling past, his hazards weren’t the only thing being flashed!

I felt much better of course but I am not sure my partner will get over this quite as fast as me, and has probably been put of coffee for a while!

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