Sussex columnist: Why I'm definitely not Shakespeare and how I've found the best sausage bap in Sussex

​Shakespeare had his sonnets, Jane Austen paved the way for female writers, while Roald Dahl (perhaps controversial of late) cornered the children’s market for generations.
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​Don’t worry, I’m not in any way, shape or form comparing myself to three of the greatest British authors. I just wanted to make the point that they all had their own styles, and in rereading a few of my own columns of late, I think it’s safe to say I have very much adopted the ‘stream of consciousness’ way of writing.

My ‘process’ (even the idea that I have a process makes me giggle – ‘Hollywood A-lister doing an interview about how they got into character for a role’ I am not) is to sit down and let the thoughts from my week spill out onto my keyboard.

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Establo Lounge – home of quite possibly the best sausage bap in SussexEstablo Lounge – home of quite possibly the best sausage bap in Sussex
Establo Lounge – home of quite possibly the best sausage bap in Sussex

I like to think it makes my weekly offering down-to-earth and chatty, but there are times that I read an old column and cringe a bit.

Why did I use so many split infinitives? Why must I always use an Oxford comma? Whoops, that’s a bit repetitive. (Does anybody need to use brackets that much?) And talk about making a sentence wordy with an overuse of the words just, so, too, etc., etc.

Okay, that’s not quite how I appraise myself. I normally just think ‘goodness, if my friends read this they’re going to think I’m a right wally’.

That’s not to say I don’t proofread this column before it goes to print/on our website. I do. It’s just mistakes/things that could be bettered are never more clearly spotted than after the press has been fired up.

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I’m not sure what point I’m making with this (can you tell it’s been a bit of a slow week?) other than an acknowledgement that while my direct-from-brain approach might make for some slightly-more-awkward-than-intended turns of phrase, hopefully it makes for some vaguely relatable reading.

Quite a few times recently, I’ve bumped into people I haven’t seen for a while and they said they’ve seen my column. A couple even said they liked it (insert blushing emoji here). While I am aware I’m writing for a newspaper and its website, as I sit at my kitchen table (what has become my home office) typing it out each week, it feels more like writing a diary. It’s actually pretty easy to forget that it goes out there into the world, and others may see it, but it’s lovely to know it’s appreciated by some.

So, for now, I’m going to keep plodding on with my weekly waffle in a bid to champion Stream of Consciousness writing and writers everywhere. Who knows, one day, it might even have its own section in Waterstones?!

Keeping in the spirit of being random, here’s a complete change of subject: I think I might have found the best sausage bap in Sussex.

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On Friday, my friend Emma and I popped along to Charlotte’s Kitchen in Rustington to buy some cakes.

She’d seen the taste-test video I’d done at this new business a couple of weeks ago and she wanted to try some.

But when we got there at 10.30am, I remembered they don’t open until midday. Doh! So, we popped into Rustington for a browse in the meantime.

Hungry, we found ourselves at Establo Lounge, where Emma ordered a bacon and egg bap, and I had a Cumberland sausage one. Oh. My. Goodness. They were so nice! And so were the coffees we ordered with them. We’ve literally been dreaming about them all week, and can’t wait to go back.

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And here’s another random thought. Sometimes all you need is a good cup of tea.

Yep, I’m British, so I obviously believe that most problems can be solved with a chat over a cuppa.

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And while I, thankfully, didn’t have too many problems this week, my bestie Lynsey popped over for a cup of the hot stuff and a catch up one night. It’s amazing just how much better it makes you feel to offload any niggles, share any frustrations, and generally laugh at the craziness of family life.

I feel very lucky I have so many lovely friends to share tea (and sausage baps) with.

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