WHISPERING SMITH: Why report a satsuma to the Peelers?

The youngsters were undamaged but frightened, and the shattered glass was everywhere.

The window cost £60 to replace, the result of a mindless act of vandalism on a quiet winter’s evening.

I asked her if she had reported the incident to the police and her response was predictable – what would they do? She had not seen the youngsters, only heard them laughing as they ran like rabbits down the street.

She was right, of course, the police were not likely to send out a CSI team to dust a rock-hard, two-months-old satsuma – the aforementioned missile – for fingerprints or to test it for any DNA left by the teeth marks in the leathery skin.

Still, on the other hand, it was a crime and now it is an unreported crime and will therefore not show up on future statistics, when those who are in charge kid us that crime in Littlehampton is falling.

What is actually falling is the reporting of crime as, like my friend, many victims will simply assume it to be a waste of time.

When my front door bell was stolen some years back, I reported it and received a very nice letter back offering me counselling. I should have taken up the offer, as I still miss that doorbell…

EARLY one morning, after that brief snowstorm a few weeks back, I looked out of my bedroom window and watched a full brushed dog fox walking across the car park opposite my house.

Five minutes later he retraced his dinted paw prints and wandered back from whence he came, only this time he had a whole pizza hanging from his mouth.

Question is, where on earth did he buy a pizza in Littlehampton at that time of the morning?

MY thanks to the readers who wrote in to me regarding the Forlorn Horse.

The only news I can pass on to readers is that he is no longer tethered on the Yapton Road and I only hope he is in a warm shelter for the winter months and will be walking through tall grass come summer.