Chichester pop-up cycle lane: ‘Magic carpets the solution?’

I have been working on some common-sense ideas of my own and will shortly be submitting an application to the council that, I believe, will see Covid-19 infection rates crash to zero while bringing even greater joy to our hard-pressed people.

Operating on exactly the same lines as London’s ‘Boris Bike’ scheme, I am proposing a transport system of magic carpets that will allow the good folk of Chichester to go about their business in town free from worry, whizzing up to 30 feet in the air, above the lumpen, plague-infested masses.

A squirt of hand sanitiser, then simply pop your pound coin into the machine and up, up and away you will go.

I envisage a series of docking stations ringing the centre around the city walls, one of which will offer you a perfect view into the ivory towers of County Hall. Transparent democracy, too! Abseiling ropes for ease of vertical access will be provided free of charge.

The pop-up cycle lane was a stroke of genius that, I’m quite certain, came very close to wiping out the virus once and for all while transforming us all into Tour de France hopefuls (I even saw someone use it but, truth be told, he was riding a Penny Farthing, wearing a deerstalker and smoking a pipe). But this idea, dear editor, I am sure you will agree, is a cut above.

Let common sense fly!